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This is so good I decided to reprint it with modifications. It is a wonderful column that I got from a company called Human Services, Inc. I use it with their permission. (see below.) Really helps one prioritize the holiday activities. Enjoy!--Diana
Seven Potential Holiday Stressors & 7 Ways to Beat 'Em!
The Stressors
1. You focus on decorating, gifts and parties instead of people and simple meals. 2. You take on all the responsibility for making the holidays work instead of sharing tasks. 3. You make your priority getting everything accomplished instead of enjoying the process. 4. You buy into the commercial message to buy gifts--just the right gift for just the right person--on time. 5. You have sad memories of people who are not with you this holiday but don’t stop to feel your feelings. 6. You make yourself guilty about all of last year’s resolutions that you have not actually accomplished. 7. You have unrealistic expectations about family, friends, and creating the perfect holiday. Now-- THE REALITY CHECKS TO HELP YOU BEAT THE STRESS!
1. Say no! Or: “Yes if you’ll help me.” “I really can’t give that the attention it deserves right now.” “I’d love to, but right now my time is like water in a drought—I need every drop.”*** 2. Share your responsibilities instead of shouldering them all alone—going it alone only makes you resentful, exhausted and probably not very effective or efficient. 3. Focus on the fun stuff rather than and not all the schedules and tasks—it’s not as if they are wandering away, and what does not get done, does not get done—oh, well. 4. Remember to choose—which function to attend, which cookies to bake, which cards to send, which gifts to buy—and when—and if. 5. Stick to your regular routines of work and sleep and play as much as possible—you’ll feel so much better. 6. Avoid unrealistic expectations—you and those around you, whether at family meals, the mall or the Christmas tree lot are only human—the kind smiles you send outward and inward are greatly appreciated. 7. Slow down, breathe deeply, relax.
The stress busters are pretty much simply the opposite of the stressors! Reinforcement of simple ideas is a good thing!
The #5 stressor, suggesting how difficult it is for all of us to deal with any loss, deserves a special moment here: Dealing with any loss of any kind at any holiday can be difficult to devastating. So, honor those not with you this year—whether through a geographical move, a divorce, a broken family / friendship, or death—and keep that person or persons in your heart
***the quotes about “saying no” are direct quotes from another source, and in fact this whole column has been “inspired” from a newsletter service I subscribed to way back in the ‘80’s—Human Services, Inc. in Dallas TX. Sadly, because psychotherapy private practice was so drastically changed by managed care, they lost their private practice therapists and went out of business. It was a darned fine newsletter that I paid for and sent to my clients and students who called me to tell me how much they appreciated what they gleaned from it every month. An age—real insurance for therapists making it in private practice, as opposed to managed care--passes at a great loss.
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